Friday, 24 September 2010

The Dole Office

The dole office (welfare office for Americans) is a breeding ground of delightful characters.  About one in thirty of the people there seem to be genuinely looking for work.  The rest of them look like this

 Or this...
On my visit yesterday I was lucky enough to be seated in the waiting area by a charming gentleman who, from what I could gather, had a merry evening the night before and seemed to be rather bitter about the "dickhead bastard government".  Apparently making him pry himself out of his bed at the crack of noon to collect his money was too much for his "fucking head" at this time.  Well with any luck this wise man would become my new teacher and educate me in the ways of politics so when I do eventually find employment, I'll be able to share my new found views by the water cooler!

Once it had been deemed that I'd learnt sufficient about the government, a very small man called my name and gestured me towards a desk.  As I sat down I accidentally hit my knees against said desk which created a loud metallic bang.  I tried to make light of this situation with a friendly remark, "hah I bet that happens to you all the time, must get annoying".  The small man looked at me, forced a very sarcastic smile, and switched his gaze over to his computer which troublesomely, I couldn't see.  In my mind he was looking over questions to ask me regarding my stance on governmental issues, lucky for me that my new teacher had prepared me.

Unfortunately the little man instead asked me about how I had been looking for work, with his little legs fidgeting under his chair.  I informed him that I had contacted a radio station, a tv station and a dvd shop.  He didn't seem too impressed with my high ambitions but seemed happy to know that I had received a possible interview for the dvd shop and an "email received" notification from the tv station.  I think he was warming to me as his little legs were relaxed now, not at all fidgety.  The little man suggested I continue looking for work and stated he was looking forward to seeing me next week.  (I don't think he really is looking forward to seeing me, but just to be safe I think I'm going to take him a packet of M&Ms next time)

I waved the little man goodbye, and shot my new teacher a "that went well" smile.  As I left the dole office with little to no self respect remaining, I saw a police car drive by with an angry looking man in the back seat.  This made me happy so I went home and ate a bowl of tuna.

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